Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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