i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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