I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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