yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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