I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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