I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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