This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
