so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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