just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize