I puked a lego.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
