Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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