I heard we made out
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
