I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i out mim tonsoeep
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