i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize