I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
