Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
