I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
