Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I can text with my tongue
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I could make wine with my vomit
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
