how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
