stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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