My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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