I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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