maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
