He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
