He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
