well I can't set my house on fire every night
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I understand Curling. That high.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
