my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
