It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
