it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
