Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
