Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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