If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
