I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
