I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
