He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
