yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize