I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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