READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
