If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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