Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?