my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.