So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
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he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
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You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them