she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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