What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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