You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
