you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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