actually, I'm a sock model
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
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hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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