Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
