i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
