I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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