Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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