ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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