apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
