I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
