We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
