careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
