i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Girls should come with a carfax report
only you would photoshop your dick
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
