If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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