That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
