He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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