he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
