Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
