38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
