from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize