It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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