so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
