I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize