Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My vagina just clenched in fear
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize