I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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