A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
...so i touched it.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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