So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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