So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
