You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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