So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
