i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
