are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize