i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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